Father of the Bride Speech with Humor, Sentiment, and Love

Father of the Bride Speech with Humor, Sentiment, and Love (Stand up, mobile phone in hand)† Well thank you vicar it is a bit inconvenient at the moment I am just about to start the speeches." I’m afraid there's been a bit of a hiccup in the proceedings; the vicar has just phoned to say that we have to do the registry signing all over again. It appears that the groom’s pen wouldn’t work so he borrowed the vicar’s. He was still having problems so the vicar said. "Put your weight on it†(To the bride) I’m afraid that you are now Mrs. 179 lbs. I'm only going to speak for a couple of minutes because of my throat. If I go on too long my wife has threatened to cut it. I've tried to memorize this speech, which isn't easy when you have the memory retention of a goldfish. So forgive me if I resort to my notes every five seconds. When the happy couple announced that they were going to get married, I asked them what that entailed for me and my daughter said that I would have to give her away. To those of you who know me well, that came as a bit of a shock as I am not used to giving things away. Selling maybe, but giving away, I ask you. However, I did a deal with the groom, your tickets for a Wimbledon tennis match for my daughter. I hope you’ll agree that he came out best. My wife and I would like to welcome the groom's parents and all relatives and friends of both families to this very happy occasion. There are also several people who I. wish could have been here but aren't and hopefully they are keeping an eye on proceedings from afar. I would like to thank the beautiful bridesmaids for looking after the bride, the vicar for a lovely service, his boss for the great improvement in the weather and the staff at the h... ...u in the bar after the speeches. (Be very careful with this joke. It backfired on me. My sister-in-law, who I love dearly, was dressed all in scarlet!) Anyway, I would like to finish off, by giving a few words of advice, to the newly weds. You must always consider the words of Oscar Wilde. "Women are meant to be loved, not understood.† Marriage will bring to you main things—loyalty, self restraint, obedience, a sense of fair play, and a whole host of other virutes that you wouldn't need had you remained single. Put the seat down after you. And remember those two invaluable words â€Å"Yes dear.†. And finally some musical adiue. (Play the first couple of verses of Bobby Vee’s version of â€Å"Take Good Care of My Baby†) And now, at long last, I hear you say, it gives the great pleasure to propose the toast of long life and happiness to the bride and groom. Father of the Bride Speech with Humor, Sentiment, and Love Father of the Bride Speech with Humor, Sentiment, and Love (Stand up, mobile phone in hand)† Well thank you vicar it is a bit inconvenient at the moment I am just about to start the speeches." I’m afraid there's been a bit of a hiccup in the proceedings; the vicar has just phoned to say that we have to do the registry signing all over again. It appears that the groom’s pen wouldn’t work so he borrowed the vicar’s. He was still having problems so the vicar said. "Put your weight on it†(To the bride) I’m afraid that you are now Mrs. 179 lbs. I'm only going to speak for a couple of minutes because of my throat. If I go on too long my wife has threatened to cut it. I've tried to memorize this speech, which isn't easy when you have the memory retention of a goldfish. So forgive me if I resort to my notes every five seconds. When the happy couple announced that they were going to get married, I asked them what that entailed for me and my daughter said that I would have to give her away. To those of you who know me well, that came as a bit of a shock as I am not used to giving things away. Selling maybe, but giving away, I ask you. However, I did a deal with the groom, your tickets for a Wimbledon tennis match for my daughter. I hope you’ll agree that he came out best. My wife and I would like to welcome the groom's parents and all relatives and friends of both families to this very happy occasion. There are also several people who I. wish could have been here but aren't and hopefully they are keeping an eye on proceedings from afar. I would like to thank the beautiful bridesmaids for looking after the bride, the vicar for a lovely service, his boss for the great improvement in the weather and the staff at the h... ...u in the bar after the speeches. (Be very careful with this joke. It backfired on me. My sister-in-law, who I love dearly, was dressed all in scarlet!) Anyway, I would like to finish off, by giving a few words of advice, to the newly weds. You must always consider the words of Oscar Wilde. "Women are meant to be loved, not understood.† Marriage will bring to you main things—loyalty, self restraint, obedience, a sense of fair play, and a whole host of other virutes that you wouldn't need had you remained single. Put the seat down after you. And remember those two invaluable words â€Å"Yes dear.†. And finally some musical adiue. (Play the first couple of verses of Bobby Vee’s version of â€Å"Take Good Care of My Baby†) And now, at long last, I hear you say, it gives the great pleasure to propose the toast of long life and happiness to the bride and groom.